We commonly talk about raising children as it’s like raising a plant just give them water, sunlight

some essential and they will grow straight. But the thing is parenting is not like gardening or raising

plant. It’s like navigating the complicated environment of emotions, intuition and shadows.

In current era, we are going under psychology. We have a lot of apps to monitor sleep, books on

“gentle parenting,” and labels for every single action under the sun. But while we are following

that academic noise, we are losing the most important thing, which is mental health awareness.

There is a huge gap between knowing a psychological theory and actually feeling your child’s

hardships. To truly grow a human being or to know someone, we have to observe that person in

the front of us rather than just relying on theory or guidelines.

Ditch the Labels and Find the Kid

Psychology is great for understanding human behaviour. It tells us about brain elasticity and

stages of growth. But there is a trap here. If we only see our kids only through the labels such as

diagnosis and growing phase we stop seeing child as a person and we will focus only on fixing the

problem.

There is no need to be a psychiatrist at home for mental health awareness. It is about connection

over correction. A deep connection is needed for this. Think about the last time your kid had a

complete emotional breakdown because you cut their toast square instead of triangle. A textbook

may call that “emotional dysregulation.” But if you observe the child, you will see a small child

who is overstressed, as if everything around him is falling apart, and the toast was the one thing

they thought they could count on.

When you lead with awareness, you stop asking, “How do I stop this behaviour?” and you start

asking, “What is my kid trying to tell me right now?” This changes the situation completely. It

turns a struggle for control into a moment of teaching.

Being the “Safe Harbor” (Even When You’re Exhausted)

There is a concept in psychology called “attachment theory,” which says kids need a protective

base and trusted support. It means being a person so that your child can do anything around you

without the fear of rejection and feel secure.

I like to think of it as being a harbor. The world is the ocean—it is big, it is salty, and sometimes

it is dangerous. Your job is not to stop the waves of ocean; it is to be the place where they can dock

their boat and fix their sails.

o Validation is Magic: if your child is scared of shadow on the wall and you tell your child

“don’t be silly, there’s nothing there” does not help at all. It just make them disbelief in theirfeelings. Awareness sounds like: “Yeah, that shadow looks really big from here. It’s okay to

feel a bit nervous. I’m right here.” You are not agreeing that there is a monster; you are

agreeing that they feel scared

o The Gift of Just “Being”: There is no need of a fancy playroom or a degree to help your

child mental health. The one thing that is needed is being there. You just need to be present.

That means leaving and putting the phone in the other room and just focusing on your child

when they are telling you a twenty minute story about Minecraft. Kids thrive when they

feel acknowledged and understood.

Teaching the Language of the Heart

We spend a lot of time while teaching child about maths and coding. But we don’t teach them

about how to manage or control stress and heavy emotions. Children can’t give name to that

emotion and in result they shout and break things

Growing a kid means teaching them emotional literacy. We don’t need to stop bad emotions like

anger, jealousy and sadness in fact they are not bad. We need to understand them, they are just

information.

The “Perfect Parent” is a Myth

One of the biggest things that disturb a child is to try becoming perfect parents. If parent will not

show their struggles, kid learns that “being a grown-up” means hiding your feelings and never

making mistakes. It’s okay to tell your kids, “Dad is feeling a little sad today, so I’m going to move

a bit slower.” It teaches child that emotion are the normal part of life there is nothing to be ashamed

of it.

Boundaries aren’t “Mean” they’re Necessary

Some people get mental health awareness in wrong way. They think letting children to do what

they want is mental health awareness. It makes their anxiety even worse

Kids feel secure when they know their boundaries’ Boundaries are the fence around the

playground. Within the fence, they are free to go wild, but they need to know that the fence is

there.

Let Them Play

Playing acts like a magic pills for brain health. Not the organized or educational sports but the

sports that they play in dirt without care in their own imagination. This type of playing helps them

to deal with stress and help them to figure out who they are. In our rush to make them successful,

we have scheduled every minute of their lives. To grow a healthy human, you have to give them

the freedom to be bored. Boredom is where creativity and self-reflection are born.

The Legacy of Being Seen

At the end of the day, your kids won’t remember the chores you nagged them about or the specific

“parenting techniques” you tried.

They will remember the feeling of staying with you in home. They will remember that when they

were at their lowest, you did not look at them like a problem, you did not discouraged them, you

courage them and looked at them like a person to be loved. They will remember that they were

allowed to be human because you were brave enough to be human, too.

That is how you grow a child. Not through the shadow of psychology, but through the light of

genuine awareness.